Love, Thneeds and Other Shady Business Deals
by darkqueensigyn
Summary: The Once-ler's Thneed business is threatened by an environmental activist named Norma, leading to the ultimate game of cat-and-mouse; each going to more and more ridiculous lengths to defend what they stand for. But as madness ensues, the relationship between corporate billionaire and devoted activist may become more than just a bitter rivalry.
1. Chapter 1

Love, Thneeds, and Other Shady Business Deals

~.~

Chapter One

~.~

The crowd had swarmed around the Thneed factory in less than an hour. Everyone was scrambling to get a look at the man who had invented the newest in-demand product in Greenville, the Thneed; the one thing that all people needed.

For Norma Wallace, she had come to get a glimpse of the man who was seriously damaging the ecosystem of the Truffula Valley.

Norma was an incredibly passionate young woman, and she was especially passionate about anything that threatened trees, or the environment in general.

She pushed her purple-rimmed glasses further up onto her nose as she glared up at the presently vacant balcony of the new Thneed factory.

Whoever this "Once-ler" character was, she had a serious bone to pick with him already.

It hadn't taken much digging for Norma to find out that the Thneeds were made from the truffs of the Truffula trees, which beautified the valley just outside of Greenville and provided a safe environment for the Barbaloots, Swomee Swans, and Humming Fish that lived in the valley.

Take those trees away, and disaster would ensue.

Suddenly, her attention was caught as a very short man in a navy blue suit walked out onto the balcony and hopped up onto a box to address the crowd.

"Thank you all for coming, folks!" he sang out. "It really is a pleasure to have all of you here today for the formal opening ceremony of the first ever Thneed factory!"

Most of the crowd burst into cheers and applause. Norma just rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"And now," the short man continued, "without further ado, I introduce to you, the inventor of the Thneed, the owner of the Thneed business, and…my nephew…the one and only ONCE-LER!"

As he crowed the entrepreneur's name to the high heavens, the small man jumped down from the box and dashed out of the way as the Once-ler himself strode out onto the balcony.

He was extremely tall, extremely thin, and extremely lanky. He wore an emerald green suit that was perfectly tailored to fit his skinny frame, his long, tailed green coat and black trousers were striped with gold pinstripes. His tie was black, and striped with the same shade of green as his coat, with a small pink Truffula truff decorating his right lapel. The gold chain of a pocket watch dangled from his right coat pocket, and a-top his head, covering thick dark hair, was a tall black top hat, with a green hat band. He wore elbow-high green gloves, and his eyes, visible even from a distance, were a vibrant blue.

He was most likely the most attractive man Norma had ever seen.

And she despised him with every fibre of her being.

"Welcome, everyone," the Once-ler greeted the crowd enthusiastically. "I am so happy to see so many people here for the opening of this, the first of, hopefully, many Thneed factories."

Norma raised an eyebrow. _Many_ Thneed factories? Not if she had anything to say about it.

"I want you all to know that it has always been a dream of mine to open up the Thneed business," the Once-ler went on. "and it brings me great joy that my invention will be bringing joy to people all over the world."

The crowd applauded and cheered again at that, while Norma was slowly balling her hands into tight fists.

_Bringing joy, huh? _Norma thought to herself. _What about the animals, huh? All you're bringing them is despair and sorrow._

As the crowd was cheering, the Once-ler turned and began to descend a set of stairs that had been set up leading down from the balcony to the front door of the factory, where a big red ribbon was tied across the doorway.

"Now," the Once-ler continued as he stepped over to the door, "it gives me great pride to declare the first ever Thneed factory, officially, open for business!"

So saying, the Once-ler seized a pair of scissors that were probably taller than he was (and that was saying something) and cut the big red ribbon.

Again, the crowd erupted; all save for Norma, whose expression was somewhere between having an aneurysm and ready to commit mass murder.

Norma stayed obscured by the crowd as people swarmed around the Once-ler, the procession led by a gaggle of camera-toting reporters bent on getting the story of the year.

She hated him. She hated that smug son of a beehive for being so happy about this. So enthusiastic. So friendly. So likeable. For smiling at the cameras, totally suave and optimistic.

But most of all, she hated him for being so dang cute.

She made herself a solemn vow then and there.

She was going to ruin his life.

~.~

The Once-ler sauntered down the hallway of his brand new factory once the opening ceremony had come to an end.

He had done it. At last, his Thneed had taken off. He was officially in business. He had changed the world.

And this was just the beginning.

He stopped for a moment and gazed at the words engraved on the massive double doors that no doubt led into his new office.

**The Once-ler's**

He resisted the urge to reach under his glove and pinch himself. This was no dream…because his dream had finally come true.

Taking a deep breath, the young entrepreneur reached out to push the double doors open; only to find that his two older brothers were already opening them for him.

He stayed put for a brief second, stunned by the gesture.

"Uh…thanks, guys," he told Chet and Brett with an unsteady smile as he proceeded through into his office.

The twins, Chet and Brett, didn't respond, electing just to close the doors behind him.

"O…kay…" the Once-ler murmured, mostly to himself, as he turned to look around his new office.

It was a massive, circular room, with emerald green walls and large red velvet curtains swathing large picture windows on either side of the room. His desk was in the middle of the room, large and crescent-shaped, and not yet covered with the various paraphernalia of a successful businessman. The desk chair was absolutely huge, and upholstered with red velvet that matched the curtains.

There was only one thing off about it: the chair was facing away from the desk.

The Once-ler innocently reached out and turned the chair around to face him and promptly had a miniature heart attack and leaped backwards with a girlish shriek as he discovered that the chair was already occupied.

Sitting in his chair, and looking less than pleased about it was a young woman, around the same age as the Once-ler himself. Although she was sitting, the girl was visibly shorter than him, and was dressed in a purple button-up blouse and a matching pencil skirt, the colour matching the rims of her glasses perfectly. She was glaring at him with large brown eyes, and wavy, dark brown hair framed her face and fell past her shoulders, ending in the middle of her back.

And she was definitely not happy.

"Um…" the Once-ler said, clearing his throat as he regained his composure. "…can I…help you? And, ah, what are you doing in my office?"

"You should really get better security on that back door, _Mr._ Once-ler," the girl said bitterly, her glare practically burning a hole through him.

The Once-ler swallowed nervously.

"And, ah…you are?" he inquired.

"Your worst nightmare," Norma said sweetly, smiling pleasantly.

"Uhhh…" was all the Once-ler could say.

"I know what you're doing to the trees, Mr. Once-ler," the girl continued, getting to her feet and standing up to her full height (which was still a foot shorter than the Once-ler). "And I don't like it."

A twinge of guilt stung at the back of the Once-ler's neck. He hadn't completely been able to shake it since he had broken the promise he had made to the Lorax.

"You're not the only one…" the Once-ler muttered at the thought of the Lorax.

"I don't care how happy your so-called 'Thneeds' make people," the girl went on. "If it's endangering the Truffula trees, I _will _put a stop to it."

She might as well have slapped him across the face.

"Hang on," the Once-ler exclaimed. "What do you mean, '_put a stop to it?!_'"

"You heard me," the girl said, crossing her arms with a smug grin. "I am making it my personal goal to drive your company into the ground…and take you, and your Thneeds, with it."

"And how exactly do you plan to do that?" the Once-ler asked, folding his own arms to mirror her pose.

"I have my ways," the girl said, deepening her smirk. "Mark my words, Mr. Once-ler…I _will_ destroy you…and your company…and your factory…and your entire business…no matter how long it takes. I will _burn_ you."

The Once-ler was quite sure that this was probably the most terrifying moment of his life. Well…besides almost falling to his doom over a waterfall.

"Have a nice day, Mr. Once-ler," the girl finished, before he could even open his mouth to say anything, and turned toward the back exit.

"Wha-wa-hey, now, wait a minute!" the Once-ler sputtered. "Who the heck are you?!"

"I'm Norma Wallace," the girl said as she sauntered out. "And just as a news flash: I'm not going anywhere."

The Once-ler felt the strangest sense of deja vu as the door closed behind the girl; Norma.

_This must be how the Lorax felt…_ he thought to himself.

Heaving a sigh, the Once-ler collapsed into his desk chair. He hadn't been in business a week and his company was already being threatened.

_Come on, Once-ler, _he inner-pep talked himself. _How bad can it possibly be? She's just one girl…one very scary girl…_

Being a businessman was going to be more difficult than he'd thought.

~.~


	2. Chapter 2

"Love, Thneeds, and Other Shady Business Deals"

~.~

Chapter Two

~.~

"Barty! I'm home!" Norma called out cheerfully as she entered the apartment, the maniac grin still plastered upon her face.

"Kitcheeeeeeeeeeeeen!" she heard her flatmate sing out from within.

"Bartholomew Cubbins," Norma shook her head as she followed the voice coming from the kitchen. "What are you cooking this time?"

"Linner," Bartholomew said matter-of-factly, grinning like a loon as he stirred the pot of soup on the stove.

Norma rolled her eyes with an affectionate scoff.

"So…" Barty continued, tossing a variety of spices into the pot. "how did it go?"

Norma sighed.

"How do you think it went?"

"You didn't punch him, did you?" Barty inquired casually.

"No. I did not." Norma stated pointedly. "Not yet, anyway…"

"You know, I saw the live feed on television," Barty said, letting a small portion of his repressed British accent slip out; not even looking up from the soup.

"Uh-huh…" Norma murmured, absentmindedly toying with the centrepiece of flowers.

"That Once-ler bloke is one _attractive_ man."

If Norma had been drinking something, she would have spat it three feet across the room.

"Is he?" Norma rolled her eyes. "I, ah…I hadn't noticed."

"Mm-hm," Bartholomew said, his knowing smirk clearly indicating that he didn't believe her.

Norma chose to ignore his snideness and watched in silence as her flatmate proceeded to hurl random food articles into the pot of hot soup.

"Barty," Norma said, "what kind of soup is this supposed to be exactly?"

"Surprise soup," Barty replied, beaming.

"Yeah," Norma said flatly, "I noticed."

"Oh, hush," Barty scoffed, waving his chartreuse scarf at her where it was draped about his neck before returning to the various condiments.

Norma just smirked.

"So," Bartholomew went on, "what exactly do you plan to do about the trees?"

"Oh, I have a plan," Norma leaned forward slightly. "And it's going to knock Mr. Once-ler's socks off."

"If indeed he wears socks," Barty pointed out, then quickly shut up after a glare from Norma.

"You get my point," Norma said with another eye roll.

"Yes, yes, yes," Barty said, sounding vacant as he dumped an entire jar of oregano into the pot.

"Barty…" Norma chided her flatmate.

"I am listening!" Barty tossed the now-empty jar onto the counter with a spectacular crash.

Heaving a sigh, he removed his hat from his head and began fanning himself with it, revealing his unruly curls of flaxen blonde hair.

Bartholomew had an affinity for very outlandish hats. At the moment, he was sporting an eye-catching scarlet number with a long, curly purple feather protruding from it.

Much more subtle than his usual style.

"And what exactly does this plan of yours entail, Norma, my sweet?" Barty added. "Coerce information out of him with your feminine wiles?"

Norma gave him the eye roll-glare combination of the century.

"_Please,_" she said incredulously.

"Merely a jest," Barty amended, placing his hat back on his head with a flourish. "Forgive me for recognizing the chap's handsomeness."

"Would you stop?!" Norma threw her hands in the air.

Barty nearly fell over laughing.

"Your goat is far too easy to get, my dear," he chortled as Norma leaned back in her chair with a sigh.

"Would you please focus?!" Norma snapped.

"My apologies," Barty said. "You were saying?"

"Trust me, Barty," Norma said, a smug smile on her face. "Once I'm through with him, Jolly Old Mr. Once-ler will be running for the hills, and taking his Thneeds with him, leaving the Truffulas blissfully alone."

"Oh, ho, ho, ho," Barty chuckled. "You are so devious, darling."

"Thank you," Norma said with a grin. "By the way, your soup's burning."

"GOOD SWEET CHARLIE!" Barty shrieked as he hurriedly turned off the stove, pulled on a pair of floral oven mitts and removed the pot from the stove, blowing on it furiously.

Norma sighed, removed her glasses and started polishing them. This was a scene that she had long since grown accustomed to.

Worst came to worst, Barty would start singing Italian opera.

"Is the soup still alive, Figaro?" Norma called to him, still rubbing the lenses of her glasses on the hem of her blouse.

"Clinging to life, dear," Barty hollered back lightly. "I'll handle it."

In saying so, he seized a ladle and started quite literally stabbing the soup with it.

Norma groaned. Goodness only knew how long this would go on.

Putting her glasses back on, Norma got up from the table and started heading toward the stairs.

"Let me know when the soup's done, Barty," she called over her shoulder as she headed up the stairs.

Barty's only response was a "Have at you!" from the kitchen followed by a great deal of clanging.

Norma chose to ignore it and continued upstairs.

Once she reached the top, she walked past the door to her room and pushed open the door to the balcony, taking in a deep breath of fresh air.

She had been thinking about her father lately.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't keep the nostalgia from her mind.

Norma thought about the days when she was very young, and she and her father would go out and plant a tree together, for no reason at all.

"_Always remember, Norma,_" her father had told her. "_Trees are incredibly important to our world. Without trees, nothing on Earth can survive._"

Norma sighed and leaned against the railing of the balcony, letting her eyes slip shut.

She had been a small child when her father passed away. Ever since then, she had sworn to herself that she would do everything in her power to advocate for the trees, the way her father would have.

No matter who or what threatened them...

"Lousy Once-ler…" Norma muttered, opening her eyes again as her hands tightened into fists; almost involuntarily.

Who did he think he was, anyway? Barging into the valley like he owned the place with his irritating enthusiasm and his big blue eyes and using those precious trees for his convoluted invention?

Norma gave a huff and leaned against the railing, staring out at the horizon as the setting sun cast warm colors across the sky.

_Let him have his fun for now…_ she thought. _While he can…_

"AAAA CENAAAAAAAAAAR TEEEEEECOOOOOO M'INVATAAAAAASTIIIIIIII!"

"Not again…" Norma groaned.

~.~

Despite the fact that he was now a successful corporate billionaire, the Once-ler could not help but still be dead terrified of his mother.

At the moment, the blonde, bespectacled woman was sitting on a bench in the lobby of the factory, filing her nails while Chet and Brett groomed her new fur wrap.

"You were sayin', Oncie?" she asked, without looking up from her nails.

"Ah…yeah…the thing is…Mom," the Once-ler gulped. "That, uh…there's kind of…a little…problem."

His mother raised a pencilled eyebrow.

"What sort of problem?"

The Once-ler sighed heavily.

"There's this girl…" he explained. "Apparently she's some sort of…environmentalist, or something."

The woman's gaze grew more incredulous.

"And that means…?"

"She has a problem with the trees being cut down," the Once-ler clarified, straightening his jacket slightly.

His mother simply rolled her eyes.

"And why does that matter?" she asked, somewhat flatly.

The Once-ler took a deep breath.

"Well…she, ah…kind of threatened to destroy my company…and me along with it."

He raised his eyes heavenward and braced himself for the worst.

"Oncie," his mother said, putting down her nail file and turning to look at him.

He turned his gaze back to her, holding his breath.

"You're successful now, son," His mother leaned forward slightly. "You've got a company to run. You can't just let some tree-huggin', tea bag-reusin', cardboard-collectin', tofu-eatin', paper-over-plastic environmentalist hippie tell ya how to run your business! You've got to do what's best for the company!"

The Once-ler breathed a quiet sigh, contemplating her words.

"I guess you're right," he conceded.

"Of course I am," she responded, beaming. "Aren't I always?"

"Yeah, of course…"

"That's my boy."

~.~

"It'll be okay, Pipsqueak," the Lorax told the small Barbaloot, placing a paw comfortingly on his shoulder. "It'll be okay."

The small, orange, furry, moustachioed creature stood with Pipsqueak, Ralph and a handful of Humming Fish on one corner of the valley.

He had really thought that the beanpole would keep his promise.

"Humans," he muttered under his breath.

The Lorax glanced over his shoulder, turning away from the sight of the Axe-Hackers laying waste to the once glorious Truffula trees.

In doing so, the creature's eye was caught by a human girl trudging up the hill toward the Thneed factory.

She was of pretty average height, with wavy brown hair that curled in places and hung down past her shoulders. She wore round spectacles, as well as gray capri pants, red flip-flops, and a white T-shirt with a pink Truffula tree emblazoned across it.

The Lorax perked up.

"Hey…" he said, partially to himself. "I think I might have just found some help."

The confused woodland animals watched as the Lorax bounded over to the top of the hill and intercepted the girl.

"Hey, there!"

The girl stopped walking in surprise.

"Oh!" she said, noticing him. "Hey…I don't think I've ever seen you around here before."

"Nah, you wouldn't have," the Lorax responded. "But then again, I could say the same about you."

"Fair enough," the girl replied. "So, what do you call yourself, mister….orange…talking…furry thing?"

"I'm the Lorax; guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees."

The girl's brown eyes lit up.

"Well, I'm Norma Wallace," she introduced herself. "I guess you could say that I speak for the trees, too."

"So I noticed." The Lorax pointed out her shirt. "Which is why I think we'd make a pretty good team."

"But if you're the guardian of the forest, don't you have any magical powers to stop them from cutting down the trees?"

"It doesn't work that way."

Norma pondered this for a moment. Then she grinned.

"I guess what you're saying is…you need me."

"Well, yeah." The Lorax gestured to the forest animals that were congregating around them. "We all do."

Norma glanced around at the animals; at the pleading eyes of the Barbaloots, Swomee Swans, and Humming Fish, before looking back to the Lorax.

"I know," she told him. "And that's why I'm going to help you guys."

The animals all glanced at each other excitedly.

"We're counting on you, Norma," the Lorax told her before extending a paw to shake. "Whaddaya say? Partners?"

Norma stooped to shake the furry creature's paw.

"Partners."


End file.
